I don’t know why I feel so weird right now. I want to sleep. But I don’t want to sleep in my bed or in my girlfriend’s bed or on either one of the couches in the house. I don’t know what I want to do.
I want to have more self control and I want to be able to love myself again. I want to be prettier and thinner and have better hair and better clothes and more money and be healthier.
I want to stop living in a schedule where every day is three different events and I have to go to every one of them or else send in a valid excuse but somehow having to have time to do my homework so I don’t fail all my classes and flunk out of college isn’t considered legitimate.
I want to not hurt the people I love. I want to stop fucking crying and being a burden.
I want to drink. I want to not have to do anything ever again.